Saturday, September 19, 2009

Recovery at home is still scary

Meal support seems to be going well. Emily has eaten almost every meal and snack since I started eating with her. Last night Derek joined us and it went pretty well. I thought she was doing great but today she started talking about how every bite is getting harder for her and that she is so afraid that she won't eat at home and will end up back in the hospital. I think the fact that she is afraid she will fail at home is a good sign because it means that she doesn't want to fail. She is starting to really hate being in the hospital and doesn't want to end up back here which is also great because it might motivate her to keep moving toward health and away from Ed.

It is so frustrating that she is getting better physically but the eating disorder isn't being treated yet. She looks so much better and healthier inside and out, but Ed is still controlling her thoughts and you can see how much she struggles with every bite.

I wish with all my heart that I could wave a magic wand and make Ed go away because he is the scariest son of a bitch I have ever encountered and I have seen a few ugly monsters in my life time.

1 comment:

  1. So many things seem to be better as I read through your Blog. You note that Emily looks better, you are all eating together, lots of communication is happening, and it seeems like Emily is doing a great job eating with you ! I asked Doug to send me the blog location because I wanted to know howe you guys were doing. You are doing a wonderful Job, and it sounds like there is a lot of support for you guys in the medical system. I look forward to hearing more on how you guys are doing.