Well it's been an interesting day on the road to recovery. Emily's anxiety over her meals is increasing steadily, her weight continues to drop, and the mix up with her breakfast meal this morning (it had a slice of ham on it) set off a series of melt downs for her. After she very reluctantanly agreed to try some non-vegetarian meals, she was angry and upset because she feels like her life was much better before we found out about Ed. Now she is stuck in bed, being forced to eat - hospital food, being forced to stop being vegetarian, and not able to do any of the things she loves. She is too ill to understand that Ed caused these things to happen, she just feels like us finding out about Ed caused these things.
But on the plus side today she was granted two hours, one hour at a time, of wheelchair time, she got a bath and she knitted a cell phone case, thanks to Nana's knitting kit. And she has decided to spend 30 minutes a day on homework.
On the down side, Dr. C. told me today that Emily is indeed very sick and that Ed has a very strong hold on her. Emily doesn't feel like she has much hope of getting better, but all of us, including her team believe that she will make a full recovery. Dr. C, has decided that she will start Emily on anti-anxiety medication as soon as her heart rate is a little better i.e. Thursday. She believes that Emily's anxiety is contributing to Ed's hold on her because it is human nature to revert to the behaviours that give us comfort when we are afraid and in Emily's mind, Ed gives her comfort.
Dr. C. mentioned that she thought Emily would be medically stable by early next week and then hopefully she will be ready to come home to continue the refeeding there and the treatment on an outpatient basis. Emily, however, doesn't feel comfortable coming home yet because she is afraid Ed will be able to trick Derek and I, and that she won't eat for us the way she eats for the 'authority' figures here in the hospital. So we need to work on building her confidence in a home based program. Derek and I have been given some materials to help train us in meal support and we will get to observe the nurses in action and then practice with Emily here in the hospital and ultimately take over that role completely before she comes home. We met a new team member today, Judy, who described her role as getting between Emily and Ed and that will be our role too.
I am suffering from a severe case of information overload after my sessions with the team members today. I am too tired to go to choir tonight but I hope to make it next week. And I am going to see a counsellor this week to get some help dealing with my own 'stuff' that is emerging from all of this.